The Great Ability to Wake Up

I’m not talking about wake up from sleeping, instead wake up from suffering, down, break, depress and escape from tiring life. What a lucky person to have such great ability. Such person won’t often feel sad and embarased for too long. One way to do it is forgetting suck thing that had happened although it’s never easy. My treatment of forgetting things is by drowning my self into busy day. Doing business we like makes everythings seems okay.
Well, this semester we learn 8 interesting subject. Analitic Stratigraphy; Geologic Research Methode; Religion; Geology of Indonesia; Philosophy of Knowledge; Igneous and Metamorphic Petrology; Geo Gomputation; and Geo Chemistry. This 5th smester is kind of a free half year. Yes we are busy of maintaining our KL data analysis, interpretation and of course data visualization, but in the other hand our lecturing schedule’s containing many spare time. And I take anvantage of it by being an asistant in Dynamic Geology Laboratory for Basic Geology subject. This new hit likely taking over my time badly. I ‘m assist about 120 new student to help them recognize the basic principle of geology. Wondering how apparently I really enjoy explaining everything I’m capable of. Explaining’s fun. Looking at those innocent face, recall me back into my early year of struggling in geology. They get everything easier now, how could they still busy of beefing this and that too. If only they knew what happened to my first semester. But these days, I realize something that perhaps very related to comfortable feeling. That is, to be appreciated, to be respected. I love to share my knowledge to them, my ability being appreciated. I never perceive being appreciated like this before. Really never.

Then, I’ve a plan to make my days even busier by learning spain. I thought spain’s the best choice considering it’s the easiest foreign language to learn for a zero newbie. I realize perhaps Franc or Deuch is more popular and widely used here, but remembering the difficulty of those two language I think it’s really hard to master. Anyway, Spain’s more beautiful to hear, and simple to learn, that my target is to master at least 2/3 of it in less than 2 year. I wonder if my plan will going right or the opposite. I know this is good for me, and the point is I want to get busier than now.

Actually, I’ve one more responsibility to be a guide or asistant for islamic sharing group in my campus. It’s okay for me to talk or speech in front of those new students, but to talk about Islam? Despite of it could be a positive business, but, I don’t think I could. My position now is currently farther from God, if I compare with when I was in senior high where I was so excited to learn holy Quran everyday. I’m not reading Quran everyday now. Also I completely aware that my sholat’s not as good as in my past which I was being so humble and khusyuk in communicating with God. This is awfuly bad degradation, I know. And if I stay like this, sure will be very dangerous for my afterlife. I’m feeling emptiness. In my deepest, I do really want to change, yet I perceive dont know where to start. I’ve to wake up from this first. Thats why I reject the invitation to be the guide, and nevertheless I want more time to handle my KL data.

By far, after more than two year studying here, finally I understand how this world could strictly turn us up and down in a certain period of time. Because, this is the world of chalenge, where demand is everywhere. We can’t just acting like a kid with no responsibility to be completed, which our duty is just to play outside the house with our friends and then laugh. The world outside the house now could killing us softly by it’s hardness. When the world seems unfair and I feel uneasy of everything, I’ll just remember that the terrible won’t last forever. God won’t ever let us feel sad for to long. That’s what I believe now. All I got to do is find a way to cure my self when something bad happened. Like what I’ve told before. I really need the ability.